Folks, it’s been a little bit since I blogged.
Iv’e been busy, but that’s not the only reason. I haven’t blogged because…I fell. off. the. wagon.
On June 20th of this year; my best friend, love, and soulmate got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. It was quite simply, a fantastic day.
The only problem, what follows happy events?
Celebrations with alcohol and food. A food addicts worst nightmare.
That weekend I told myself things like, “I deserve this celebratory time”, “It’s just one weekend”, and “I’ll get back to my routine on Monday“. Well, as you can assume, once I tasted pizza, wine, french fries and ice cream…I couldn’t stop.
I spent the first several months of my weight loss journey doing a diet and exercise method of weight loss, but leading up to June 20th, I had been doing an extremely strict diet to get over a plateau that I had reached. The diet was so strict that my working out was limited due to the reduced calorie and carbohydrate intake. I felt like my body was out of whack, it was a weird feeling because I had spent months working out almost every day and then I changed it up completely and almost took working out, out of the equation.
Honestly, I feel like changing up my routine that had worked for the first 40+lbs of weight loss was the worst decision that I made. I was so focused on hitting a weight loss goal that I wanted to do anything to get there as fast as possible. But, in the end, getting out of my work out routine was the first mistake, because when I faltered on my diet, I didn’t have a workout to fall back on to counteract the food intake.
The past 3 months have been filled with no routine, hardly any workouts, and tons of bad food. Iv’e gained weight back, more than I really care to know. I can give excuses all day long for what, why and how….but…..in the end, everything was my decision and my choices. my bad choices.
My self image that I had 3 months ago, is gone. My goals that I set almost a year ago will not be reached. My “skinny” clothes don’t fit like they used to, if they even fit at all.
Life. Goes. On.
I need to pick myself up, get back on the wagon and continue.
Food addiction is no joke my friends. I thought I had a grasp on the temptations, pitfalls and secretive aspect of it; but, I let my guard down and discovered the hard way that I will probably always suffer from this, and I obviously haven’t overcome as much as I thought I did. If I have learned one thing through this, it is, admitting that you have a problem is the first step. As hard as it it to share this with all of you (and those that are close to me, this isn’t a shock, I am sure, whether or not you have said anything, you know I have been struggling and been gaining weight). But, sharing and being honest makes the addiction not have control, I have control and I am taking it back.
I appreciate the support, patience and prayers.
Today, I am back on the wagon.
(today – 9/17/2015)